The Good and The Bad
by aimudream18
Summary: Every girl has a story. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are both. AU
1. Chapter 1

Alli is always saying that she's an expert with makeup. And I ask her if she is such an expert, why don't I like it? She thinks I'm kidding so she continues putting makeup on me. We were getting ready for Fiona Coyne's birthday bash, and Alli was wearing a hot pink halter dress, which was up to her thigh. She said it would catch the attention of boys. Ever since Drew cheated on her, she told me that hooking up keeps you from getting hurt. I know that Drew cheating was very hard for her because she loved him. I thought she was insane when she told me this, but now, at every party we go to, she hooks up with boys. And to see her happy makes me happy.

I on the other hand was nervous if Eli would like my dress. I really like him but he is a player and I am just the innocent girl. He would never like me. We usually flirt at school but sometimes he ignores my existence. Tonight, I'm gonna come out of my shell and show him what he's missing. My dress shows it all. I'm wearing a red strapless dress that is a little higher than Alli's dress.

"I'm so proud of you, Clare!" she told me when she saw the dress. But if my dad saw this dress, he would freak. Good thing my parents are out of town for the weekend. After their constant fighting, they seemed to work it out and decided to go out of town to catch up.

After Alli finished putting on my makeup, we looked at ourselves in the mirror. She did a really good job on the makeup. I don't know why I said I didn't like it in the first place. It looks amazing! I had grey eye shadow, a thick layer of eyeliner, mascara and ruby red lipstick.

"We are so gorgeous" Alli stated. She put the finishing touches on my hair, which was in a messy bun, and smiled. "Definitely" I said smirking.

At the party, Fiona came up to us giggling while taking a sip of alcohol. "You guys came! Oh my gosh, I love your dresses! Clare you look so hot! Since when did you wear clothes like this? Alli! Your dress is fabulous! Where did you buy it? I just love the colour!" she rambled. "Okay you could stop talking!" Alli exclaimed before Fiona could say anything else. "Sorry" blushed Fiona. "How many bottles of alcohol did you drink?" I asked. "This is my first one." she replied.

"Good." Alli took Fiona's bottle and threw it in the garbage. "Don't drink ?" she said. Fiona crossed her arms and mumbled a fine. I sighed then looked around the room searching for Eli, and found him flirting with Jenna Middleton, the biggest slut at school. A few months ago, she stole my boyfriend,K.C, he got her pregnant, left her and now stalks me. Its kinda creepy, and I hate him because he broke up with me for that slut.

Fiona saw where I was looking and said "I heard she had sex with Fitz last week. What a slut"

"How many babies does she want?" I asked. Alli and Fiona chuckled. "What?" I asked "I'm serious." Their laughter died and I saw Eli coming towards us.

"Hello pretty ladies. How are you girls doing tonight?" he asked while putting his arm around my waist. Butterflies started forming in the pit of my stomach and I grinned unexpectedly. "Oh me and Alli are doing fine. Why don't you ask Clare?" said Fiona. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ears and he asked "My little turle, how are you doing tonight?" I laughed and said "Why turtle?" "Because they are cute" he smirked. I felt my face turning red and he grinned then walked away.

"Ooh, somebody's in love" Alli teased. I turned to her and murmured a shut up while smiling to myself. I walk over to the drink table and K.C came up behind me. "Where's your boyfriend?" he asked. " He's not my boyfriend! Now would you please leave me alone?" I asked annoyed.

"Somebody's grumpy" he smirked. _His smirk isn't as beautiful as Eli's. _I thought. I shook the thought of Eli out of my mind and grabbed a bottle of soda. "Gasp! Saint Clare drinking coke! What will God say?" Anger shot through me and I muttered loud enough for him to hear "It's not a crime, you know?" He laughed and said "Well for you it is" "Shut up! Just shut up! Leave me alone and go to hell!" I screamed. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. My face reddened and I turned around and walked toward the bathroom. I could here K.C laughing faintly as I closed the door in the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and muttered "Why does he have to be so annoying? Can't he just leave me alone?" I washed my hands, wiped it and got out of the washroom. I gasped as someone pulled me into an empty room and locked the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Heelllo :D this is my second chapter! Hope you likie (:  
-aimudream18**

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The person who pulled me into the room turned on the lights and I got to see who pulled me in. "Eli! You scared me!" I shrieked. He rolled his eyes and asked "What happened down there, with K.C?" I frowned, not wanting to talk about it. "He's bothering me constantly, making fun of me and I just had enough of it." I sighed. I waited for him to say something but just caught him staring at me. "What?" I asked. Although I did like him staring at me, it kind of creeped me out. It was like he was undressing me with his eyes.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?" he said not taking his eyes off me. "No" I blushed. He immediately pulled me closer to him and started kissing me. At first I was surprised at his action, but then I kissed back. He pushed me onto the bed and poked his tongue into my mouth, which made me shiver. He pulled away and we breathed heavily after our hot make out session. He dipped down and kissed me again then practically ripped my dress off of me. I don't know what has gotten into me but I just continue kissing him and taking his clothes off. We layed naked on the bed and we both knew what was gonna happen next.

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As I put my clothes back on, I told him that I don't want to be friends when I walked out of the room, I could feel him staring at me from my back. I walked downstairs and told Alli that we have to get back home. When we got home, Alli and I got into our PJ's and started talking about what happened at the party. "So, how come it took you so long to come out of the bathroom? Hmm...you took about an hour." she said suspicious.

"Umm..well, When I got out of the bathroom, Eli pulled me into and empty room and I gave him a.._._" Alli gasped and said "You gave him what? A blowjob?" I nodded and she squealed. "Then when we were changing, I told him that I didn't want to be friends anymore." As I said this, Alli slapped my arm. "Ow! What did you do that for?"

"You gave him a blowjob and told him that you don't want to be friends anymore? What kind of person are you?" she asked angrily. "I just didn't want to be friends with him anymore. It will be to awkward." I lied. The truth was that I was so happy about what we did last night, the problem was that I didn't want him to flirt with another girl if we were still friends. It hurts too much. Of course I wouldn't tell her that.

"Whatever. Do whatever you want, I just don't want to see you hurt." I smiled and said "Don't worry. When I told him that I didn't want to be friends, I felt more free and confident. Now, enough about that and lets start this sleepover!"

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First-Period. K.C won't stop bothering me. I wonder if he's on a Clare hunt or if he's still trying to get on my nerves like he always does. Its free time so I go to the library and try to read, praying that he stops following me. I turn around and sigh, seeing that he's not behind me. I grab a random book and turn the other way around, only to see K.C in front of me, which surprises me. I scream and drop my book.

"Chill! Geez it's just me." I glared at him as I bent down and picked up my book. "You just surprised me. But even if I knew that it was you, I would still scream. That's how much you scare and creep me out."

"Offensive" he mutters under his breath. I just ignore him, and sit at one of the tables. He follows me and sits across from me, giving me a wicked grin. "So did you have fun at the party?" he asks while waggling his eyebrows, suggestive of who knows what. I stare at him suspiciously. "It was alright."

"Are you sure about that?" he asks, smirking. Still, I think Eli's smirk is so much better. "Isn't there anyone else you can irritate around here? Except me?"

"Naww. You're my favorite." I roll my eyes and continue reading, while K.C just sits there batting his eyes while just staring at me. Finally the bell rings and it's lunch. In the hallway, a few boys would high five me, smirk, or undress me with their eyes. Then the girls would look at me in disgust, and whisper stuff to each other while glancing/pointing at me.

I meet Alli at my locker. "These people are freaking me out. Can we go somewhere else for lunch? Like at McDonald's or something?" she nods and says fine. We get to McDonald's in 5 minutes, and I order a cheeseburger, fries and coke. Alli orders a McChicken, fries and coke. We sit at a table and start eating. "So I heard that there is a new video trending on the internet. But I never got to see it. Can you check it on your phone?" she asks. I nod and start searching for this video. My insides turn to ice and I don't feel hungry anymore.

"Alli" I say.

"What?"

"Someone took a video of me."

"Yeah, so?" she looks at my phone. "What is it?"

"It's me and Eli. When we were.." I trail off. In the video it shows us moaning and Eli clutching onto the bedspread. Between his knees, there was short curly hair, which was obviously me. I'm probably the only person in the school who has short, curly, auburn hair.

Alli grabs my phone from across the table and looks at it. "Oh, God" she says. "Who took this?"

"I don't know"

"Where were you?" she asks.

"Upstairs in one of the bedrooms."

"Clare! Why didn't you close the freakin' door?"

"We did! But somebody must've seen us go in and opened the door." I say. "So you didn't hear or see anything?"

As I think about that night, I knew that I didn't hear or see anything. The music was too loud and the the noises that Eli was making made it hard for me to hear the door open or close. And I guess that we both had our eyes closed. "No. We had our eyes closed and the music was too loud."

"Do you think he planned this?" she asked. "Who?" I asked confused. "Eli!" I don't think he did..but it is an option. "No he can't..." I shook my head.

Then it struck me. Everyone whispering around me, pointing, giving me dirty looks. It made sense now. "Alli, someone has been uploading this all over the internet."

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**Please Review? Thanks (:  
-aimudream18**


	3. Chapter 3

**HOOOLA! :D Thank you sooo much for the reviews! I never thought I would get this much! Anyway, here is chapter 3! **

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"We could skip" Alli says. I ignore her and stare at the video in my hands. Everybody who saw this will know its me. I'm probably the only one at school who has this hair. I feel like my body is frozen. I can't talk, move or cry. This was my private thing and now its all over the internet.

"Say something, please?" she says desperately.

"What am I going to do?" I whisper.

Alli takes my hands and squeezes it. I would cry, but like I said, I can't. It's like all the water in my body has evaporated, like a desert. "So do you want to skip for the rest of the day?"

_No, _I thought _I want to skip for the rest of the week, the rest of the month, the rest of the year. I want to skip until I go to college, or just move all the way across the country, hoping they won't have seen this or even have internet! Oh, wait. I have a test. Now I can't skip! I can't miss that test. I have to ace it._

"I can't" I say. "I have a test."

"Clare, come on-" she starts.

"I can't" I repeat. "If I skip the test today, then it will be worse tomorrow."

"Fine" she sighs. "Let me walk you to your locker."

I nod and open the doors of the school. Immediately, all eyes are on me again, everyone wearing smirks and dirty looks. I bet everyone at school has seen the video. We walk down the hall, feeling uncomfortable with everyone staring at me. I hear someone murmur something, and Alli's head whips around. "Shut up" she hisses. We get to my locker and I take out my stuff for Calculus.

I hear someone shouting from the crowd at the end of the hall. I hear "Eli! You have got to watch this!"

I don't want to look, but I can't help myself. I turn my head and see Eli surrounded by a bunch of guys, one of them pressing random buttons on his phone.

"What is it?" Eli says. He takes a long, lazy sip on his milkshake he must have bought at lunch.

"Just look at it!" one of the guys say.

Eli shrugs and takes the phone, while walking. He stares at the phone for 2 minutes. "This has got to be Clare Edwards" the guy says, loud enough for me to hear. He doesn't care if I'm 10 feet away. He doesn't care if I hear.

Eli stops walking and the guy bumps into him. He blinks at the picture a few times, then thrusts the phone back at the guy. "You don't know who that is, Drew."

"Come on! That is definately Clare. It has to be. Is that you with her?" Drew asks.

Eli walks quickly down the hall. He doesn't look at me or Alli at all. His eyes are staring straight ahead, at the back doors at the end of the hallway.

"Still, it could be anyone." he says.

"No way" says Drew. As the pass by me, he jerks his head toward me. "Look at her short auburn hair and her chubby cheeks. It looks exactly the same as the person in this video."

"Whatever" Eli says. He doesn't look my way, just keeps walking.

Jenna Middleton and Bianca DeSousa saunters over. Alli tenses up, waiting for one of them to say something. Jenna tips he head and smiles with her perfect teeth. "That was cold. Kind of makes you wish you were lesbian, doesn't it?"

Oh, yeah, I wish I were lesbian. I roll my eyes and make my way to calculus with Alli trailing behind me.

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**Soo...did you like it? Review! Thanks :D**

**P.S I'm thinking of updating on Mondays and Tuesdays, and sorry I couldn't update yesterday, so I'm updating another one later. Toodles (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**So, like I said in Chapter 3, I'm updating again today. Soo enjoy! :D**

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After school, I make my way home, tired of everybody bothering me and talking about the video. I know what I'll find when I open the door. My mom would be at the kitchen table, waiting for me to come home so that she could ground me for life about the video she has seen a million times, knowing its me.

I finally get home and slowly open the door. I find her standing by the kitchen sink, frowning into it. _Oh, no! She saw the video! What am I going to do? I should say something, _I thought. "Hey, mom"

"Look at this." she says, pointing down. "Is this a cricket or a grasshopper?"

I breathe a sigh a relief and stand beside her, looking to where she is pointing. It's a brown bug, big eyes, long legs made for jumping. "Why doesn't it jump out of the sink? Why is it just sitting there?" I ask.

"I don't know" my mom says. "It's dumb?"

"Maybe it's dead."

"Poor bug. We'll leave it in peace for a while. A little monument to nature." she pats my head and opens the fridge. She digs in a bit and takes out a bottle of soda. "Anything happened at school today?"

I can't tell her about the video, so I don't say that much. "Not much" I start. "Just a test." Before she could respond, her laptop makes a sound. When her laptop makes a sound, it means that she has an e-mail. Anybody can send ehr anything, so I bet somebody must've sent her the video. I suck in a deep breath and watch my mom press a few keys. "Anything interesting?" I ask.

"Nah" she says. "Not that important. Just a few chainmails."

Once again, I breathe a sigh a relief, and try to make conversation. "Is dad still at work?" I ask.

"When isn't he at work? He should be home around seven or seven thirty." she says.

Her computer makes that sound again. More mail. Click, click, click. Frown. "What?" I ask. She doesn't respond and just stares at the screen.

"It's a video, right?"

She glances up and looks at me confusingly. She shows me the screen and it shows my cousins holding 2 new kittens, with a message that says "My new kitties, Lizzie and Furball."

"Oh" I say. "Cute."

"Were you expecting something else?" she asks curiously.

I should tell her. I want to tell her. I don't know how. I just can't find the right words. "No" I say, after a minute of thinking.

She just shrugs and says "Well. I'm assuming you have a mountain of homework to do, am I right?"

"Yeah. I still have to study hard for that test next week otherwise I won't get an A."

"Oh, my!" she says, with mock horror. I sigh and her expression softens. "Clare, you need to relax a little. Your working to hard. Take a break."

I roll my eyes and go upstairs to my bedroom. I open my computer and find a lot of messages from people I didn't know.

**Instant Message from sweety567:  
**U R such a ho! get a life!

**Instant Message from 69luvver:  
**will u marry me? will u at least suck me off?

**Instant Message from happy4life:  
**u do what u want to do and don't let anyone stop u. its ur life. U R not a slut ur just trying to have fun.

I delete all the messages and just do my homework. An hour later my mom calls me from downstairs.

"Clare?" My mother says. It must be dinner time-not that I want to eat anything. I go downstairs, where things are more than bad. They are worse. My mom is sitting at the table with the laptop in front of her. The food hasn't been set on the table. My mom and dad are staring at the screen watching something. I don't need to see it, but I can't help but come closer to them and watch what they are watching. There is a message above the video that says : "Look at your little angel now."

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**Good? Bad? Tell me in your review.**

**P.S. If any of you can guess how old I am, then I'll update everyday for a week.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi! I'm updating again, and I just have to say that I'm a bit younger than 14. You might think that I'm too young to make stories about this, or watch Degrassi, but I think I'm mature ;) Anyway, read and review!**

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My dad does not know what to do. He takes off his jacket and holds it over one arm.. Then he switches it to the other arm. Then he throws it on the counter. He pulls it from the counter and hangs it over the back of a chair. As if there were a person inside, he pats the shoulders of the jacket. He doesn't look at me.

"Where did you find out about this?" my mom asks my dad.

"One of the employers showed it to me." he says.

My mom turns to me. "Is this the video you were talking about?"

I nod.

"What happened? Is someone playing a joke on you? Did someone pretend to be you?"

For a minute I think about saying, _Yes! A joke! It's just a big joke! _But I shake my head no.

My mom's fingers brush the edge of her laptop. "So this _is _you?"

My eyes on the floor, I nod yes.

"From Saturday night?"

More mute nodding.

My dad's hands tighten around the shoulder of the jacket. "Did someone force you to-"

"No, dad" I say. "Nobody forced me."

"I don't understand" he says. "How could someone take this video? Did you let them?"

"No!" I say.

But my dad doesn't stop. "Is that what's going on at parties now?"

"Randall..." my mom says. "Let her talk."

My dad points to the body, which is Eli's. "Who is this?" he says.

"Nobody you know." I mumble.

My dad's jaw quivers like I just smacked him. "Nobody?" he says.

I'm not crying. It's impossible that I'm not, but it's true. I feel cold and hard, like a marble. A Clare-shaped statue sitting at the kitchen table. My mom's lips are moving, forming words and then biting them back. Finally she says, "Is this your boyfriend?"

I almost laugh, but my marble mouth just isn't that mobile. "Sort of" I say. "Not really. We're just friends."

"Christ!" my dad says. He stares at me. "Tell me that you at least used protection."

"We didn't need protection" I say. "I mean, not for that. I don't think." I can't believe I'm saying this. This is not embarrassement. It's not humiliation. It's something deeper and darker and more awful, like a giant black hole of spinning saw blades.

He looks like he has a bee caught in his throat. "You don't need..."

My mom gives him a warning look and he clamps his mouth shut. She says "So you were...with your friend, and someone took a video. Do you know who did it?"

"No" I say. "I have no idea. Somebody must have snuck up on us."

My mom nods as if she understands, but I can tell that she doesn't, that she's completely out of her element, that she's gearing up to call in the professionals.

"Who else has seen this?"

"Everyone"

She winces. "Oh, honey."

My dad says, "What do you mean, _everyone_?" He's frowning so hard and so deeply that his eyebrows bunch up in folds over his nose.

"It's all over the internet"

There's silence. I don't know how long. We can hear the clock tick. We can hear each other's breathing. That's all there was. Silence.

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** I think it's bad ^ What do you think? How about you tell me in your review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Aha, okay, sooo somebody guessed my correct age ;) I'm 12 years old. And now, I will update everyday for a week. You better thank that person :D**

**Chapter 6. Enjoy!**

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It feels like a million years in this silence. But in reality, it was just 3 minutes. My dad whips his jacket from the back of the chair and stalks out of the kitchen.

"Clare," my mom says. "He's just upset right now. He'll get over it."

"Sure," I say. "Right."

I'm pretty sure my dad isn't going to get over anything until he finds someone to sue. Or shoot. We spend Monday night in virtual silence while my dad does endless Google searches to see who uploaded that stupid video. My mom brings me hot tea and more hot tea and spends a lot of time trying to figure out what, exactly, she should say to me. We try to watch television, but it doesn't help us. We turn it off and go to bed early. I don't sleep.

Tuesday morning and still we're not over it. My dad leaves before me so that he doesn't have to look at me. My mom just sits at the kitchen table staring off into space, a cup of coffee cooling in front of her.

"Did you sleep?" she asks me.

"Not really," I say.

"Me neither."

She stands, walks to the coffeepot, and pours another cup of coffee. She adds milk and lots of sugar, and hands it to me. I only drink coffee once in a while, but she knows I need it. I grab a yogurt, a napkin, and a spoon and we sit at the kitchen table. I've got 2 minutes before I get to school.

"I'm so sorry about what happened," she says.

"Me, too"

"I don't answer how someone could have been so cruel. To take that picture of you and send it around. I can't stand it. Who could be that mad at you?"

"It could be someone who doesn't even know me, Mom." I opened the lid on the yogurt and take a spoonful. It tastes like glue. "It could be a random person who just thinks it's funny."

"Funny?" my mom says. She turns her mug around and around in her hands. "I want to kill whoever did this."

"You mean you want to kill me."

Her head snaps up. "Of course not!"

"Dad does."

"Stop that," she says. "Your dad loves you."

"He still wants to kill me."

"This is hard for him. For any dad. He doesn't want anyone to take advantage of you." She takes a deep breath. "Sex is a beautiful thing. If it's with the right person. Was this...have there...been others?"

I don't say anything. I get up, take the container of yogurt, and toss it in the trash. "Clare, I just want you to be careful," my mom says. I don't respond. So, I just mumble a goodbye as I walk to school.

At school, anyone who hasn't seen the video has now seen it over and over again. I find a note on my locker that says: "_I love how you suck on those balls, Clare."_ I grab it, crumple it to a ball, and throw it on the floor.

On the way to school, I saw Alli and we walked together. We didn't say a word all the way to school, but now I tell her about my parents. She sucks her breath through her teeth so quickly that she whistles. "Wow. That must suck." she says. "How did they find out?" I shake my head and say, "My dad's employer showed it to him. Then he showed it to my mom. They thought it was someone playing a prank."

"How did they take it?"

"My dad's mad. At first he thought someone, um..." I lower my voice. "Someone, you know, forced me or whatever, but I told them that no one forced me to do anyhting."

"You should have said someone forced you!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, right. And have them call the police? I don't think so." I stuff my sweater into my locker. "My dad can't even look at me."

"What about your mom?"

"She's trying, but she doesn't know what to say. It took her until this morning just to say the word 'sex'"

"Jeez," says Alli.

Bianca and Jenna walk by. Jenna grins at me and gives me the thumbs up sign. Alli scowls, then sighs. "It's bad now, I know. Really bad. But people will forget." I wanted to believe her, but for some reason, I couldn't. "Yeah?" I say. "When?"

"Soon. They always do."

I know they will, someday, somehow, but that doesn't help the frozen spot where my guts should be. That doesn't stop the stares and snickers and giggles in the hallway. That doesn't stop KC from whispering poison in my ear. All day, I bury myself in work, in words. I sink into them like a bath. My friends give me space, but the teachers yammer all around me. Limits, amendments, oxygen cycles, Shakespeare. This is important and all of it will be on the test. I write, underline, highlight, repeat. I get text messages and I delete them. A few people pass me stupid notes that I know say horrible things, and I shove them into my books or backpack without looking at them. At lunch I will go outside with Alli, and set them on fire.

"What I really want to know is, who took that video?" Alli says. She's taken me to the diner to eat. "Do you really think that Eli had nothing to do with it?"

"I don't know," I say.

Alli scoops up a spoonful of mashed and gravy, what she orders every time we come to the diner, day or night. Her eyes narrow. "What about KC? He's still dogging you like he owns you."

"I don't know," I repeat.

Alli puts down her spoon. "Don't you want to know who did this? Doesn't this make you mad?"

"Well, yeah," I tell her.

"Well, yeah?" she says. "I'd be furious! I'd want to kill someone!"

"I just wish it never happened," I say. "I wish I'd never done it."

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and sighs. "You love him right?"

That seemed funny to me. I love my parents. I love Alli and Fiona. Eli is a different story. He is like a creature from another planet. Can you really love a creature from another planet? Someone who could jump on his spaceship off to Mars at any minute? "I don't know."

Alli is getting annoyed with all that I don't know. "Yes, you did. Isn't that why you were all weirded out with the friends-with-benefits thing? Weren't you jealous of all those other girls? Didn't you want to go out with him?" She eats another spoonful of mashed potatoes.

I want to tell her the whole story. I _should _tell her. She's my best friend and I need her to understand. But I'm not sure if she will. After Drew, I'm not sure if she can. So, I agree with her. Yes, I was weirded out. Yes, I was jealous. I don't know what else I was-insane? obsessed?-but I think if I say "I don't know" one more time, she'll kill me.

Luckily, or unluckily, she decides to let me live. Sixth period, and I've gotten through most of my classes and even managed to eat two bites of Alli's potatoes at lunch. Even though I've got my eyes pinned to the floor, I see Eli walking down the hallway as I'm trying to get to history. It's not the dark brown hair that catches me, it's the movement-the rolling, easy walk, the walk that says he could run very very fast is there were ever need to. He's alone this time, he isn't surrounded by people shoving phones at him. Then he sees me. His face stiffens and his eyes narrow, and his lip curls up as if he's disgusted, as if he can't bear to look. He speeds up, passes me, and keeps on going. And it hurts to think that he hates me.

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**I'm not sure if you'll like it. And I'm pretty sure you won't. It's crappy, isn't it? Anyway...**

**Review. I dare you.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Soo, I guess some people liked my 6th chapter? Like I said, I will update everyday for a week. **

**WARNING : This chapter is how they first met (In my version). NOT THE PRESENT. Enjoy! (:**

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The first time was at Alli's back-to-school party. There must have been a shortage of parties that weekend, because the entire school showed up to mourn the end of the summer. Alli's parents had taken Sav out of town, stupidly trusting Alli not to do anything stupid (like, say, throw a party for the whole school). But there we were, at Alli's house, a blur of cutoffs and halter tops, all of us hugging our friends and hugging total strangers and loving the world. Even K.C. seemed less K.C. somehow-less obnoxious, less angry-maybe because there were chicks who'd never met him before and were willing to give him a shot. I remember looking out the open window to the backyard and seeing a girl running, only wearing her underwear, but moving too fast for me to see her. I could hear her, though. She was giggling like a maniac.

The party was going great until Drew came with his ho girlfriend, Catherine. I guess he figured that since Alli and him had broken up six months ago, and there wasn't another party in the whole town, he could just show up without getting Alli too crazy. Right. Like Drew could blend in anywhere with Catherine. She was Mexican and had tan skin and curly black hair. She was like another Jenna. Catherine was our friend when she came to our school, and Alli got back together with Drew, after he cheated on her. She was in love with him, and Catherine said that she wouldn't do anything to get his attention. Then Drew has sex with her. And once again, we were fooled.

Anyway, since Alli and Drew had broken up, she had serious radar for him. I think she could spot him a mile away. She could sense him. She could smell him. So, when he showed up with Catherine and tried to mingle, Alli cornered them in the kitchen, screamed at him, told him what a loser he was, how much she hated him and how he needed to take his slut out of her house. A normal person would have gotten all embarrassed, but not Drew.

"Listen, Alliah," he said, drawing out the "ah".

"Alli!" she said. "The name's _Alli." _

_"_Alli," he said. "Look, I'm sorry about everything. I never meant to hurt you. Never."

Drew has big blue eyes, eyes that could get you to believe almost anything he says. "I'm really, really sorry. How many times can I say it?"

"You can say it again, you cheater! And then you can get out of my house!"

Drew nodded, tipping his head as if digesting her words. "I hear you. But it's been a long time now. Don't you think we all need to move on now?"

Catherine slid her arm around Drew's waist and looked at Alli. "I hope that we can be friends."

Alli got angry and started swearing at them. I thought she was going to gut Drew with a steak knife or rip out Catherine's throat with her teeth, so I tried to drag her from the room while giving Drew my fiercest best-friend evil eye.

I was still trying to convince Alli to come with me and cool off when I saw Eli Goldsworthy peek into the room and then double back. "Whoa! Calm Down!" he said, but nobody listened; Alli was too busy screaming, and Drew was too busy looking sad and soulful. Eli's eyes went from Drew to Catherine to Alli to me to Drew again, until he pulled Drew and Catherine into the dining room. We couldn't hear what Eli was saying, but we could see them through the doorway. Drew was nodding, glancing at Alli, looking at the floor, and nodding again.

Finally, Drew came back and mumbled something like, "Sorry never meant to hurt you, we're leaving, bye." Then he grabbed Catherine by the elbow and steered her out the door and out of the house.

Alli gaped at Eli. "What did you say to him?"

He shrugged. "I told him he was being a tool."

"That's all?" Alli asked.

Eli's mouth turned up at the corners. "I might have said a few other things. Like, this is your house and if you didn't want him here he had to get out. He _was _being a tool, right?"

"Among other things," said Alli.

"And this _is_ your house, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, then."

"Okay," Alli said. "Thanks."

"No problem," Eli said. He paused. "You're not going to be all depressed now, are you?"

Alli said, "Excuse me?"

"You're not going to throw us all out so that you can drown yourself in your bathtub, right?"

"Don't worry. The party must go on." Alli tossed her hair. "I might fling myself out the second-floor window, but I'll wait till everyone's gone home."

"Great to hear it," he said.

"And not because I'm depressed; because I'm really really really pissed off."

"Even better. You're beautiful when you're angry."

Alli rasied her eyebrow. "I'm beautiful all the time."

Eli laughed.

I thought I was witnessing this amazing thing. He wasn't her usual type. But it was a miracle that he could take her mind off of Drew. He didn't seem like a bad guy, not after he got Drew to leave. Plus, he had the most incredible hands I've ever seen. Man hands. Big, long-fingered.

He turned to me. "Hi."

"Hi," I said.

"You're Clare."

"You're Eli."

"You know, one of my friends thinks that you eyes are fake."

"Her eyes aren't fake!" exclaimed Alli.

"I didn't say it was what _I _thought, I said it was what my _friends _thought. He doesn't think eyes could be that pretty. He thinks that you wear contacts."

"You're friend's a bonehead." I said.

"Yeah," said Alli.

I was so busy getting my head around the fact that Eli Goldsworthy and one of his friends had discussed my eyes, that it took me a second to notice that Eli was staring at me. He looked directly into my eyes, so that I could see his beautiful green eyes. "It looks real," he said. He looked around for a second and looked back at us. "I'll have to go tell my friend."

"So go," Alli told him.

But he didn't. He hung out with me and Alli in the kitchen, making stupid jokes about googly-eyed guitar guys, about Big Boobs Barbie, about hair extensions, and about eye contacts, until he got Alli and I to laugh out loud. After a while, Fiona came to join us, while Alli found a guy to hook up with. About 10 minutes after Alli left, Eli's friend Adam hung out with us too. I never got to meet Adam before, but I heard that he was transgender, but I don't mind that, and that he got bullied because of that reason.

The four of us ended up sitting at the kitchen table, playing some random card game. At some point the game got boring, and Adam was busy staring at Fiona. Fiona didn't seemed to mind since she was drunk. I grabbed up the cards and started to build a house with them. Watching Adam stare at Fiona and caressing her cheeks made me envy her- I've always wanted a guy to caress my cheeks in a loving way, like Adam did. I tried to concentrate on the card house, but Eli was watching me. And that made me nervous.

"Was it him?" I blurted, pointing at Adam. When I was nervous, I blurted.

"Him what?" Eli said.

"Yeah me what?" Adam asked. He had one hand on Fiona's cheek, still caressing it.

"Eli said that one of his friends thought I wear contacts. Was it you?" I said.

"Oh, that," said Adam. "He must have not heard me right. I was telling him that _I _wear contacts."

"Why do you wear contacts?" asked Fiona.

"Because I think I look better in brown eyes. But I could take off my contacts and show you the _real _color."

"Okay!" Fiona giggled.

Adam smiled and leaned in and kissed Fiona. She stared at him cross-eyed for a split second, then kissed back.

"Don't watch them." said Eli. "They could get violent."

A minute later, Fiona and Adam kept kissing, not caring that me and Eli were sitting right there. When Adam pulled Fiona onto his lap, Eli said, "I think that's our cue."

We left them making out in the kitchen. It was late, really late, because most of the people had gone home and the few that were left were crashing all over the place. The girl running in her underwear turned out to be Jenna, who was sleeping on one of the couches in her hot-pink bra and matching underwear. I should have known, she was the school's slut.

Eli whistled at her, but she didn't wake up. "Impressive." he said. "You guys used to be friends, right?"

"Yeah, used to be friends." I mumbled.

"What happened?"

"Jenna and I were friends last year, but she turned out to be a backstabber and stole my boyfriend. I was a total nerd that time, and I was stupid to think that KC wouldn't leave me for her. I'm so stupid! Then, she thought I was getting a boob job and made a rumour about it. I was actually getting laser eye surgery." I rambled. I was about to say more, but Eli interrupted me.

"You act like I don't know who you are. I know who you are." He smiles.

For some reason, that made me blush.

"You want to go outside for a while?" he asked.

Some tiny part of me shouted, _Outside? Eli Freaking Goldsworthy is asking you OUTSIDE? Is this a joke? What does it MEAN? What's he DOING? What will you SAY? _But all I said was, "Sure. Let's go outside."

He opened the door and we stepped onto the grass. Alli has a huge yard with a fence all around it, plus an enormous swing set for her and her brother, Sav.

"Sweet," Eli said. "How about I swing you?"

"No, thanks."

"You think I'm not strong enough?"

Before I had a second to swallow it back, I said, "Show me what you got, big man."

He pulled back the sleeve of his T-shirt and made a muscle for me. Not too big, not too small. I squeezed it, feeling like the teenager Goldilocks. The skin on the underside of his arm was surprisingly soft, smooth as my own cheek. I asked him to show me the other arm. Just to make sure he was up for the task, I added.

"Oh, I'm up for a lot of things," Eli said, which made me giggle idiotically.

We went over to the swing set and I sat down on one of the swings. While I launched my feet, he gave me a small push.

"Come on," I said, my fake English accent making it safer to tease. "You can do better than that."

He grabbed ahold of both ends of the seat, but instead of pushing, he walked backwards until I was nearly facing the ground, nearly slipping off. Then he let go. When I swung back again, I felt the heat of his palms on the small of my back, where my shirt rode up. Everything-the party, Eli, the whole night-seemed impossible and ridiculous, and most likely a dream. I felt like I could do anything : sing, dance, fly. I felt Eli's palms on my back, one last time. At the last minute, I shot off the swing. For one wonderful second I soared like a crazy bird, but then I dropped, landing funny and falling sideways. I wasn't hurt, but I wondered how stupid it must have looked.

It was not the kind of dwelling, though. I was too giddy for that. Instead of getting to my feet, I rolled over to look up at the stars.

"Are you alright?" Eli asked, sinking to his knees beside me.

"I'm fine."

"What are you doing?"

I felt myself say, "I felt like being horizontal."

Eli plopped down next to me, our shoulders touching. I felt my skin scorching the grass beneath me.

"Do you know the names of any stars?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"You don't? I thought you were some kind of genius."

"Do _you _know any of the names?"

"Let me see," he said, pointing up at the sky. "Okay. Right there. That's the South Star."

"You mean the North Star?"

"No, I mean the South Star. And that's the Big Dogpile. Then there's the Little Dipshit."

It was dumb, but I laughed anyway. As I laughed, he grabbed one of my hands, twining his fingers in mine. He raised himself up on one elbow to look at me. I could almost feel the muscles in my eyes working to make my pupils bigger, so that I could take him all in.

His fingers tightened. "You're a good card player."

I smiled. "I'm good at a lot of things."

"And that's good to know."

Suddenly, he was kissing me. He was soft and slow at first, nibbling and searching to the point where I wanted to grab him by the ears and make him kiss me like he meant it. And he did, all hungry, as if the inside of my mouth were made of strawberries or ice cream.

After a while, he pulled away and touched my lips with his fingers. "Why are you smiling?"

"I'm smiling?" I said.

"You're smiling."

The late-August-evening magic-fairy nice dust made it easy to be honest. "I like kissing with the Little Dipshit shining down on us. Twinkle, twinkle."

He laughed, "You're sort of a weird girl, aren't you?"

"So?"

"So," he said. He combed through my curls with his fingers, twirling and twisting the strands. Then he pressed his lips to my ear. "You like the whole kissing thing, huh?"

"Yes."

"What's that saying that actors have when they rehearse a scene? Something about doing it again with emotion, or whatever?"

I thought a minute. "Once more, with feeling?"

"That's it," he smirked. In one smooth motion he was on top of me, settling in like a puzzle piece. He kissed me again with so much feeling, it would have brought a dead girl back to life.

* * *

**So, when they kissed, it didn't start a relationship, it started the friends with benefits thing.**

** At least 10 reviews? Thanks!**


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